What I Shed Today

lightening up a little at a time

sitting room hill

on February 18, 2014

Sometime last year, our sitting room grew a hill. Like a miniature prehistoric mound arising from an alluvial plain, it rose about two inches over a diameter of some three feet. I crawled under the house to see if a joist were bidding to become a rafter. To my relief, they appeared as true as the day they were placed.

“So why?” Nimue demanded as she tried to bounce on the carpet-covered hump. “It’s been very humid,” I offered. (2013 was Georgia’s third-dampest year since climate records began being kept.) “Wet wood swells. The pressure has to be relieved somewhere.” “If that’s true, why here and not everywhere?” Nimue wanted to know—straight to the difficult point.

The answer wouldn’t be revealed till we ripped up the 25-year-old carpet two months ago. The builders had missed sinking a row of nails through one 4’x8′ sheet of particleboard underlayment into the joist below. That’s where the hill popped up, and where it stubbornly remained. Running drywall screws into it every six inches didn’t pull it down; they just disappeared into the friable substrate. Neither did several hundred pounds of ceramic and vinyl composition tile piled atop it for two weeks push it flat.

So I had to escalate. Bring on the cat’s paw, the wonderbar, the crow bar, the wood chisels, the razor knife, the hammers … and yes, cats, I think it’s time for you to leave the room: the safety goggles, the ear muffs, and the circular saw!

This hill is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-HILL!

This hill is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet its maker! It’s kicked the bucket, it’s shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-HILL!

Today I shed a hill, and acquired a hole. I’m content with the exchange.

shedding style: demolish

Comments welcome … what might you shed today?

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5 responses to “sitting room hill

  1. Do you ever take a day to rest? #awedbyyourenergy

    • revdarkwater says:

      I’d have said the same of you, seeing all that amazing work you have up on-line, which has to be just an iceberg tip of your RL! But yes, this project needs some sabbaths. I do try to embrace them, not in the stale old blue laws sense, but as a demand of justice and gift of The Good. (Not to turn preachy, [grin].)

  2. […] Back on 18 February, we shed our sitting room hill. […]

  3. […] Plain is the welcome successor to the Hole. The Hole was the consequence of the Hill, which was a lump, some three feet in diameter, that a year ago ominously rose in the middle of our […]

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